Fides Ecclesiae

How I got my Groove Back...Fides!!!

Fides Ecclesiae at The Pantages Theater by The Association of Filipino Priests of Los Angeles is one spectacular musical that speaks volumes about faith.  It is not the usual perk u get during Sunday masses but this musical has stripped off the incredible limitations on how we perceived the clergy as they bare their souls, their faith, their passion, their vocation and the display of their singing prowess and stage artistry.  It is a magical revelation that opens the eyes on the religious and put our faith to new height of perspective.  It is the opening of their human hearts to ours that touches the core..  When Bishop Solis sang from the start, my mind has started travelling back to my sacristan days.  It brought me back to those moments where I had the fondest of memories at the convent.  Those years were the foundations of my resolve to be religious in life.  But somehow along the years  I got my own share of challenges..  I was so confused as nothing even my faith seemed to work.  Though I held tough, I was screaming all my way finding answers to my numerous questions as I was so resolved to find God somewhere else even outside ofthe church I grew upwith.

With the story of St. Kateri unfolding, my search was slowly being validated as I am answering the whys of her circumstances. It was an impeccable performance.

When the story of Perdo Calungsod was staged, I have a striking identification with him as I once dreamed of entering the seminary but I got a circuituous route that I knew I was not called. But when he sang Gave Me Faith, his brilliant performance caught the sentiments and the naivete of a seventeen year old missionary whose only armor was his faith and passion to serve Christ. His voice got you soaring with him in his emotional resolve to face death as he  fianlly surrendered his fate to the Lord. It was a heart wrenching performance that pierced my defenses as he revealed how humongous his faith had become  as compared to mine that tread in and out the surface of my imperical heart.  I was then so humbled.

The musical pulled out another miracle of looking back at the religious and honor their ultimate sacrifice  of self denial to be able to nurture the faithful, of leading them, of living exemplary lives of choosing a life in Christ.  These are fine young getlemen during their times but chose to follow their callings. It opened again my mind to the greatness of their hearts defying incredible challenges which only those equipped with Grace can handle.  I was reminded again of our youth, of my visits to the seminary sneaking out my semirian friends.  I was reminded of their trainings, I was reminded of the time they were moulded to become pastors.  I was reminded that really many are called and few were chosen.

Then as the show was ending, it all occured to me that I am seeing the show in a different light.  I am seeing the valuable gift being shared. I am feeling my faith being revitalized by my entire experience in just one moment....in just one song.

Maybe I wasn't the only one who have this kind of experience. For me it was really meanigful for the musical was in itself became my own personal journey.

The Catholic Faith is under seige at a glance with the Archdiocese reeling from the sex scandal and  now the resignation of Pope Benedict.

The Fides Ecclesiae gives an opportunity to see the clergy as they are, a very important second look after the debilitating scandal that threatens to rock the foundations of the church.  The musical gave a glimpse at the numerous missionaries whose works paved the way for the establishment of the faith and churches accross the glove.  It opens up again the meaning of the Faith of the Church. A lot of them offered their lives and more than three hundred years ago a Filipino young boy did just that.  What happened some centuries ago is inspiring the Filipino religious community gain back their groove in this inauspicious times.  The Association of Filipino Priests of Los Angeles did a valuable work that can revitalize the faith.  And across the globe outside Philippines, the only Catholic nation in Asia has eleven million migant workers, most of them Christians who had built churches or revitalized dying churches in their adopted countries.  Imagine if the world lights up with every chrurch praying the Mother of perpetual Help novena, rest assured a Filipino migrant is in the midst of it.

If at all, Fides Ecclesiae, successfully raised good funds for St. John Seminary and the Pantages experience was a sweet topping of the cake.  It was more than just to me a kick in the butt, but a powerful medium in the reawakening of my faith, understanding the very deep meaning of faith and where it is coming from. And the wonder of doing it all as one spiritual community. We Pinoys just did that.

Flowers to  Love

.Every first half of February  until the 14th, the Flower Market at downtown LA is heartily dedicated to the Valentine's Day extravaganza.  The flower district of LA will be swarming with floral designers from dawn to seven AM and the general public after.  It is the time to get ready for those beautiful bouquets for a special someone.  Red roses will be king as  the most expensive being the color of choice for the season.  It's price can go as its price goes as much as 400% more from  regular days.  Wholesalers and flower shop owners usually make a killing.  They have to because any wholesaler would admit that they earn their keeps for the whole year by earning enough for half of the year and that's December to June.  Its's a chaotic time but no one is complaining as busy means money and chaotic is more money coming in like crazy.

Giving flowers to someone is one of the very thoughtful ways of expressing one's affection.  Most times the colors do the talking about the giver's intentions.  Red is almost generic or signature color in expressing more than just affection.  It is like sending a blank check for love.  Anyone being gifted with red roses most likely will be tickled pink or would be blushing either with so much joy because you approved of the giver or you're fuming mad because it was a, well, unpleasant surprise or be appeased rendered defenseless by an erring someone.  At any rate any woman receiving red roses is by any standard a wonderful compliment.  I heard a lot of stories of girls sending themselves flowers on Valentine's day so as not to feel left out when other girls' in the office or some friends are receiving their bouquets from their Romeos or would be Romeos.  To others, anything from any Tom, Jack and Harry is welcome.  Sometimes, Valentine's can be cruel.

Young girls usually love those cut flower bouquets with fancy wrappers and ribbons.  It speaks volumes.  Bouquets come in different forms and styles.  They come in different ways of packaging from simple tissue or japanese papers to fancy boxes and ribbons. There are hundred of flower varieties in different colors and hues that would delight anyone like eye candies.  There are mixed flower bouquets or dozens of the same like dozens of roses or tulips or peonies.  The choices are endless. 

To older couples like married guys would prefer to give live orchids.  It being not only aunthentically exotic, it is beautiful, practical and stays longer.  It blooms every six months actually so the joy is kind of forever depending if the reciever got green thumbs to keep it blooming.  Live orchid plants has a large selection and choosing one  can be a challenge.  Phaleonopsis comes in popular whites and purples.  There are novelty types like the wax paleonopsis that come in many vibrant colors of different yellows, papya orange, pinks and those multicolored beauties that endlessly mystifying.  The dancing lady had different colors too so with the spiders, tigers, dendrobiums.  There are also those sweet smelling orchids like the sweet chocolate vanilla smelling oncidiums and catteleyas, the honohonos and the stardust.  A very good orchid arrangement not only can give a lasting impression but it also lasts a very longtime.

To less compicated relationships like platonic friendships, or stable relationships, a person can go with  his or her favorite colors.  It is quite safe to venture with playful colors to the kind of flowers being sent.  Sometimes an orange colored flower can mean contempt, or a yellow could mean jealousy, white can be purity or carnations are intended for the sick.

But flowers are wonderful creations of God.  Their colors are so enchanting.  Just how did a rose become red or yellow or lavender?  Why orchids can come in so many hues of pink?  Besides their colors, they emit those magical fragrances that really shake the senses, really, like those casablanca lilies which can cause bad allergies to some and pure joy to others.

 

Just how many varieties of flowers are there depends on seasons.  Everyday though seems like there are no seasons except for those ultra expensive ones like the king of flowers peonies whose pink, white, salmon and burgundy colors are florists' delight.  Though sometimes some flowers if needed can be available and ordered from other parts of the world,  they come really expensive.  Most clients now tend to go with the colors of the season and the flowers in abundance.  Fortunately, some generically high end flowers for popular designs like the hydrangeas, tulips, bells of Ireland and vendela roses are always available. Most colors of those beautiful roses are always ready and available .  If not, ten days advance order will do. Even those amazing tropical delights are almost always available like the dendrobiums, phaleonopsis, proteas, pin cushions, anthuriums, haleconias, gingers or the king and queen proteas. 

 

The choices are endless.  For bigger events like weddings or debut it would help to really consult a professional designer.  This is a piece of advise for practicality by cutting unncessary costs and peace of mind.  A good one is someone who can almost read your mind.  Sometimes there are hidden desires that are difficult to verbalize for the lack of good words or budget reasons.  A good designer can almost feel the pulse where the client is leading to.  Being years in the trade means a lot.  They must love what they are doing and must have become better and better through the years and yes like a psychic or a healer, they can actualize a client's concept or sometimes challenged concepts.  Being honest can be a plus for designers being artists can do a lot of magic tricks and  had acquired treasure troves of creativity that most times just come out freely and handy out of nowhere.  Of course the joy of creating beautiful arrangements for an event is always a reward in itself. I know a lot of designers who sometimes go overboard out of passion.

So many couples try to set their altar dates after the Valentine's day though some would just settle with the expensive costs because romance is priceless.  It's a once in a lifetime event so why not?  Always give the best shot for it really propells everything to better trajectories, thus better results.
At any rate, Valentine's Day season is an exciting day to a lot of people.  Those who are planning to give flowers and for those dreaming to receive one.  Yeah really, romance is priceless.

 

This One Is Really My Own.........

At Chrurch of Incarnation in Glendale today for the Christmas Eve Celebration.  And while the mass was about to start,  so many scenes way back were coming to my mind.  My mom was the only person I knew inside the church...And in my mind came the thought of shutting off everyone as the culture of insecurity was on its regular routine.  But this time who I was in college came dawning again....Four years of freedom to be me....to just be wantonly me.  Four years of pursuing my own thoughts.  I was the success drive and success oriented.  I was then excellence seeker and a proud achiever.  Academically I was doing good but I was in my little social corner, created a giant of myself courtesy of my thoughts for excellence.  In that little nook, I witnessed so many miracles happened through sheer singular desire to suceed.  In my own way, I know I was a big factor that had inspired others to be leaders and fired their desires to achieve their own successes in their own fields.  That was an incrudulous year.  That was our year whre the leaders of the school the following year came from the same group where I thought I put my own heart and soul.  BEDSCA then was the venue where I was me.....

But I was grudgingly cowed to return to Asingan, my hometown.   There my spirit did not ceased but found a new way to express its essence.  The Choir.  The St. Louis Bertrand Choir was then fired up with kids coming from Rizal Academy with the generous help of Julie Rillera who became a friend.  In the same manner of trying to achieve excellence, we did dare to create a relationship farther and wider than just a choir.  The choir was a means to fire up the spirits of the kids to achieve their own greatness.  It was good until it lasts.

Then the bigger venue came in with the Lions Club.  The organization rose from obscurity to one of the most active clubs entire the Philippines with the Leo Club as my vehicle to share and achieve again my social dreams.

Together with this fire and passion to succeed is the eqaul challenge of ignonimy.  My own quest for personal achievement of expressing who I am was overshadowed and tempered by crippling challenges that made me let go.  I have accepted defeat and avoided severe consequences and left for the US.

The start of life in California was like a child birth.  Finding my own way.  Believing that i can create a new world.  America is a land of opportunities so with whatever resources I have, I accepted the challenge to rise up from the ruins.  I will take anything that comes my way.  Make everyday an opportunity to earn back whatever I thought lost.  I lived an obsure life of anonymity throwing away who I thought I was and accepted the challenges day in and day out.  I was a janitor until I gave up on my abusive employer.  It's almost impossible then to swallow being a former employer to a now lowliest employee and subjected to abuse.  Treated just like those ignoramuses when I have more education than my boss.  I went to work in a restaurant where I tried to be on a very low profile.  I became a cashier and counter cleaner and everything of which I have no idea how far is my responsibility.  I was expected to be creative in work, spotless and full of initiative to almost like the owner.  Few setbacks but again my spirit was being fired up to achieve excellence and be the best in the field.

I became a waiter and gave my best yet for some reason I can not beat the odds.  Was it because of my age?  Nevertheless, I made good and felt great.  I am getting my groove but still sheltering from the reality.  Still I was hiding a wide swath of my life and the fight with depression did become clinical and for a while but i was able to lick it off.

Again I can sayI excelled.  I wanted to be give my best in every field i tried to get into.  There were setbacks but were non negoyiable.  I can't take defeat

ANd rthe story went the same with the floral designing business.  Now I am a business owner coming full circle.

So what is that energy thata lingered and made me struggle all the time....The culture of fear. The culture of doubt.  I was fulk of pride, I was hurting, defensive reactive and resenting....The culture of poverty, the culture of sin and in other words it's total ignorance.  I got no system and I don't know the basis of my philosophy.  I was grappling in the dark and I have no idea of what is a relationship with God is.  I was like a dead wood floating around and finding a somewhere to anchor on.  I was so wrong and was so arrogant and so ignorant.

Until slowly, the memories start coming back why I was in the US in the first place.  I was rebuilding myself.  I am seeking the Lord.  I am seeking fro answers.  It was at least the only thing left to me.  It is hope.  The hope kept the faith.  The faith kept the trust.  The trust allowed me to seek, knock and ask.  Until I came to undertsand that I don't really know what I am looking for.  I am looking for the Lord then.  I was not understanding my faith.  My religion is not helping me much.  Until Eileen had started to poke my mind to open new doors in finding God.  MY brother had always been prodding me and then came my sister Edna and then those conversations with my mom.  The books of Donald Neale Walsch (Conversations with God  123) Rhonda Bynes (The Secret), Napoleon Hill (Think Big and Grow Rich), Eckart Tolle(A New Earth), Rick Warren, TBN, Joel Osteen, Creflo Dollar, Joseph Prince and finally the Bible.  Barnes and Noble is a monumnetal factor that had allowed me to go paradigm shifts a couple of times because of the availability of resources for free.

Now i realized I had been putting myself aside and let my twin do the thinking under the influence of the culture of fear, culture of sin, the culture of doubt.....................NO!! I am taking back my life..  The Edgardo that always aspires and achieves excellence because that is me.   ever since I can remember I have always been achieving.  My pursuit for personal glory is always ccoupled with debilitating defeats.  But now NOI....I am taking all my achievements, fortune and fame...I am taking back my great name given to me by my parents and annointed by heavens.  For they are mine and this time I share it in the name of Jesus to give the greatest honor and glory to the Father whose spirit will catapult me to greatest heights of excellence, achievements of dreams and life of plenty and abundance.  I am taking my birthright and I am claiming it fast tracked in Jesus name.  It's mine now and mine to honor the Fther!!!!

FiftyTwo

1025PM NOV 262012
To be one with God, one must be truly and honestly believe and know 100 percent  that your faith is the truth..
You can not doubt, worry, stress nor be jealous.  You can no longer be angry, you can not hate.  You can not have pride but humility. You must understand, know and embody the unconditional loving kindness which is God himself. Because love is the state of God. Love is the absence of hate, pride, anger, worry, doubt and envy.  This is what God can not do.  It is not the character of God.

Everything is God.  There is nothing that is not God.  All the energy is God.  So God is with us and never been apart.

Everything that happens belongs to God's plan.  Nothing we can do can change the plan.  Destiny.  Everything is already made even before we were born, long before the foundation of the world was made.

There are no mistakes.  Everything has a reason.  Every conceived mistake is a fortunate opportunity to have another shot to achieve perfection.  We have the power to change what is happening that will be in accordance to His will or change our mind and pursue other endeavors or open new doors to explore.  Life is a discovery upon discovery and should be fun.  It's the judgement that we make that   creates different  impressions...In times of doubt..seek the guidance and enlightenment of the Holy Spirit for clarity.

Trials are likened to an energy dance.  We sway, we jump, we bend  we twist to synchronize to the forces that we encounter.  It is like going with the river flow, going against it will be exasperating.  Enjoy the rollercoaster ride, the ride of a  lifetime and  enjoy the surprises of the journey.  DO not have permanent perceptions nor heavy judgements.  Expectations can be different from what is happening.  Do not take things so personal as everything is changing.

It is foolish to pray for something not according to God's plans.  We pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and enlightenment to know and do His will and never to impose our will to the Almighty.
Sucess is a blessing...going the way of the Lord is walking in His grace.  We prosper because we work according to His will.  We are blessed because we fulfill the will.  We achieve abundance not because of our works but by His grace.

No judgement.  Everyone has a purpose.  Everyone has their own journey to make.  We can not make judgements as to the rightness or wrongness of a situation for there are none.  We judge badly because we don't see the whole picture..  Our wisdom doesn't allow us to know farther yhan that of our experiences and education. We have no comprehension of the complexity of a human mind nor any idea of a person's worth. Only God does.  In the eyes of God, everyone and everything is wonderful.  He created them all.

The Kingdom of God is the state of God and the state of God is the unconditional loving kindness.  This state transcends all.  Knowing and embodying this is a paradigm shift.  It totally allows us to see the world in a different perspective.  A tiny tiny peek into the magnificense of God.  We should endeavor to achieve and perfect this in our lives.  And all the goodness shall be added unto us.

Every hurting or resentment or reactions are signals of our repressed emotions or bad energy we stored.  Sickness are long forgotten or nurtured conflicts hidden within.  Every resentment is an opportunity to know oneself, know the feeling, know where the pain is coming from and come to terms and let go.

Ego is a self made protector in the subconscious.  It is the first to react when the self is being threatened of its existence.  Knowing the ego is allowing yourself to deal with the perceived pain coming or felt which can be transformed in a better way....Like a little child in us, it needs reassurance from the protected that everything is ok and there is a better way of dealing the threat other than resentment.  Assurance of the ego allows peace to set in.

Getting mad is a common reaction but nurturing anger is another.  This is a nosedive because it detaches you from ur real nature as belonging to God.  This is ur exit key to the Kingdom.

Learning to forgive allows us to remove the pains that we keep.  It wipes away the heavy burden or pain of our self imposed diffrences.  It allows the continuum of the dance of the energy in our lives.  It is liberating.  It somehow allow us to free our minds from being a victim in life.

The lower our self esteem or self worth, the mightier our egos are.  Unchecked, it can unconsciously be destructive.  The more self assured we are, the more faith, confidence, trust and love in the self leaves the ego with so little to protect.  We have to accept, believe, know and trust that we are God's great creations with all of God's intended purposes.  This will open the door of oneness with everything and everyone and with God.

Everything is like a flower or an orchard.  Everything has a season and a reason.  A flower has to bloom in its own beatiful time so is a fruit to ripen.  So is a person.

There is nothing to do or search for.  Everything is already with us.  We only must know how to see it. Everything is illussion.  Man has created so many lies we have believed in.  All we have to do is focus and enjoy the very moment we have...the pre-sent the gift...DO not look for what is not here because this is all that there is. Or what we can do is to remove the layers upon layers of illusions we have attached to everything we see.  Just to be.

You can not serve two masters at the same time nor u can be in two places at the same time.  You can not love and be indifferent.  Endeavor to know yourself more that you can find  God in ur heart.  Never compare urself with others but find your own gifts for they are more than enough to keep u happy in grace.

We are one in spirit with our Maker.  These bodies are temples of the Holy spirit that signifies the uniqueness of our gifts as we journey into life.  Like a fabric we criss crossed, multicolored and together we create strength and beauty.

I give thanks to the Lord.  On my 52nd B day He had allowed me to get better and enlightened.  Thank you Lord for allowing me to love u more, serve u more and know u more.  Thank you for blessing me more and allowing me to live in ur grace.  May everything I do will be according to Your will and give YOU greatest honor and glory.  Thank you Lord for making my life a testimony of ur greatness.  Thank you for letting my life abundant, prosperous wealthy and healthy that i can share this greatness.  May everyone know why I love and thank you more like I do.  Thank you and I love u Lord. In Jesus name with the Holy Spirit One God, may this all be for Your greatest hononor and glory. Forever and ever Amen....

The Majesty of God's Works

To Seattle

Visiting Washington is an awesome experience. It was made possible with my niece getting married to Ryan Bean. The challenge before going was enormous but nonetheless a must go. Putting all faith to God, my mom Julie and niece Darlene fresh from Afghanistan embarked on a journey purely on my own faith's perspectives. Everything turned out to be a pleasant surprise. Definitely Washington is a beautiful state. It's like a huge nature reserve. From 30 thousand feet above, Mt. Rainier is enormously humongous topped still with snow and it is summer. The landscape was more conspicuous as the visible view resembles like a painting of circles in different hues of greens and browns. There were enornous spans of rivers and lakes having no ocean front on its own. The vastness was enormous and the mountains were topped with beautiful pine trees and the streets were beautifully sprayed with multi colored blooms of the season. The sun was brilliant but the breeze was cool making the road trip exciting... We got a rental car. It was almost impossible but again by faith we made it and surprisingly removed any hitch or blocks. One story book in itself. We were ready to go to Seattle. The five hour drive was gruelling despite the delightful view both sides of the road. I really have to stop for a ten minute nap as my mind keeps telling my eyes to close. It was scary that I reaslly have to stop and submit to the pleadings of my mind and found a parking by the lake a have a quick nap. A few hours after, the fields was replaced with those majestic pinetrees filling every space along the mountain route. You can smell the freshness of the air enhanced by all those beautiful pine trees. As we near Washington, more lakes, more trees and soon more cars and buildings until we are at the Space Needle by Seattle Center, the Icon of Washington.

Beside the Needle, Chihuly Glass Garden Plaza where dreamworks of blown glass sculpture were on display. The art works were manificient in size and concept. It's mind boggling to even think how they came up with the design and the assembly, display and presentation, the colors and lightings was awesome. The genius of Chihuly is unprecedented. I could just stand in awe in front of such magnificense. The debacle came in as it crept into my mind that there isn't simply enough time to marvel at all those marvelous sights and inspirations made available to us in just a day. It's purely an abundance of beauty everywhere.

Lavenders of Sequimm

We spend a night of restful sleep at Backie's beautiful home, sister of a very good friend Jo Atienza at Lynwood. After a sumptous Filipino breakfast of tocino, longanisa and OE eggs, we proceeded to the City of Edmonds where we boarded a RORO , a ferry boat that will bring us to Sequim and experience a pre Lavender Festival. Sequim(S-quimm) is an island town that looked peaceful and beautiful. It has a laidback feel. Going to the lavender farms was a treat in itself. We went to Graymarsh Berry Farms as was suggested by a lady we chanced upon at one of our stops. The lavender farm was set of a sloping terrain while the berry farms on the other side gave us a chance to pick berries. They have blueberry, strawbery, raspberry, logan berry and black berry farms but we chose blueberries and bought some freshly harvested raspberries. Delightfully, it was fun to harvest blueberries. We chanced upon some strawberries and to my surprise it tasted like sugar water. It tasted so good. There's not much of it to be compared to since there was no tinge of sourness at all. I cut a bunch of lavender stems and enjoyed its refreshing smell. We went to a few farms and the richness of the lavender colors are so enthralling. Lavender is a flower that symbolizes cleansing and true to its name lavar which is to wash. Tired from the whole day of travelling and exploring Sequimm, we are ready to go and eat. This time both Mom and Darlene were craving for rice. There is an Asian restaurant in town and there is also a Filipina staff in this island town. She told us there are at least 5o Filipino families in the area. Well, nice to know, we are in every part of this beautiful world. They suggested us to go Blainbridge going back to Seattle as it is the shortest ferry ride. We are going to meet Ferdie and family. It will be a first meeting of the cousins. Looking at the city of Seattle by the ferry is awesome. It kind of remind me of New York coming from the Statue of Liberty.

We went to a seafood restaurant by the seaside and got ourselves pails and pails of seafood delights. I thought we ordered so much but in the end it was just a little more than enough. Stuffed to the neck. The cousins had a little time getting to know each other as they try to bridge some decades and demographic separation and differences. Then we head back to Spokane as it is getting late and its a 5 hour drive. Smooth drive.

We were billeted at the Red Lion Riverside Hotel courtesy of my sister Edna. Yeah second floor and no elevator and we have to carry the flowers upstairs and be on the water for travelling more than ten hours. The flowers turned out to be still great and straight on to the tub and some shower. The drive was long yet so enjoyable for everywhere you see God's majesty. You see wonderful works only God made possible with the passage of time. Created upon generations of different needs and circumstances yet its beauty was masterfully protected. The infrastracture was so complimenting to the land and seascapes that everywhere offered postcard beauties.

Four days can never be enough but enough to make an impression of how charming the place is.

Getting to the Parallel Universe

After almost two and a half years of incredible challenges as it is now 06/21/2012, comes another reckoning from the past. It is a whirlwind of events aptly described as the roller coaster ride of a lifetime. The wisdom gained prior this period was well used and came in handy during the most trying times of severe losses and gains. Still a period of evolution where every moment is an opportunity to grow and experience the deeper truth of what is. Each moment is a conscious undertaking to go deeper to the recesses of my human nature of expugning my resentments and pains I so unecessarily felt and stored. The voraciousness to acquire wisdom to achieve worthiness of self and valuing my own gift of existence.
At this tip of my own highest point for now, acceptance looms large in my own mental horizon. Gratefulness comes next and finally faith. The kind of thought that you just know that it is. Destiny is God's as He had made everything even before the foundations of the earth was made. The Producer, writer, director of fate has made it all done and all we have to do is act on it. Our choice is to accept or resist. Complain and remain. That is definitely our will. But in acceptance, we leave behind the sting of disappointmenting memories. It actually leads to an opeing, to a new avenue of greater and bigger things. Somehow it is a cleansing process that gets us nearer to a state where we can commune with the spirit.

We evolve. As we evolve we enter to a new dimesion of our existence. It is a continuum where the past, present and the future converge. Everyone has been uniquely placed and have their own universe where we work our way to become more pure. Eventually to achieve this grace allows us to finally enter the Kingdom. This is a time and space of abundance where everybody dreams as it is visible and may be seen or seemed accessible or possible. Yet it tends to be as elusive like a glass wall that separates you from who u dream of urself to be.

Evidently, nothing comes possible without grace. Eph. 2:8...not by might , not by power but thru the grace. As everything is available thru grace, it is by faith that we can access it.
The parallel universe of the haves and have nots, those who have more shall be given more and those who have least all of what they have shall even be taken away distinction. The evolution comes with faith being the currency of the spiritual world. In physical means we both see this parallelism yet no unevolve can Be and enjoy or access or enter that time and space. I tried and saw and know yet I bounced back. Acceptance is the key, gratefulness opens the door and faith allows you in. Just have faith. Just know stubbornly and absolutely and the rest will be God's own way.
It's worthless to compare self to anyone as everyone might be moving on a different time and space. Others can be inspiring and a testimony to the promise yet irrelevant as they are of no effect to our own time and space. What we have is whatever there is in the moment that we can do. Whatever we do is our choice but it is necessary not to get caught copying other people's templates. We have our own gifts. We just need to appreciate and be grateful to enhance it more.